Sunday, 26 June 2011


3 days ago me and my partner Richard arrived to the Chipsa medical institute, tijuana, Mexico.
In these 3 days I have had more information and understanding of my disease than I have had during 7 years of conventional doctors visits due to cancer. 5 years with my mothers pancreatic cancer and 2 years with my lung cancer.
At home no doctor has ever been able to explain to me the cause of this illness and neither has anyone had any good toxic free alternatives of healing me. Even the toxic medicines they have suggested me have no guarantee of curing me. 
I chose to go the conventional way the first time I was diagnosed.
My daughter was 3 months old at the time and my mother was very ill from her pancreatic cancer.
I was very scared and not having enough information on alternative treatments I was not ready to go that way. 
My whole life I've grown up to believe that doctors are up there with lawyers, presidents, gods. They're these people that know more than us "normal" people. They look after us and protect us. 
I learned pretty quickly from experience that all of these mentioned are just normal people like the rest of us. Something I learned quickly with conventional care is that nobody has time for you. I have had to fight my way to get appointments to all kind of doctors.
But back then I chose to put my life in the hands of conventional medicine. Chemo and radiation.
I also went through a few minor surgeries to take samples of my tumor.
The chemo was tough and made me weak. But the most challenging turned out to be the radiation. To get to the tumor they had to radiate over  my gullet(esophagus). After two weeks of radiating my gullet was one big open sore and I had difficulties swallowing without pain. To deal with this pain I was put on very high doses of morphine. I was not aware at the time that morphine is an opiate drug. I was on morphine for about 3 months. Then came my 3 month come down as I started to reduce the doses to finally be off the drug. This was the worst time of all the treatment Id been through. 
The hardest part was that we had no information on what was to happen. It all started with a big depression. I was very paranoid. I cried constantly, didn't want to get out of bed and had no will for anything. We called the hospital about this and I was sent to a psycho specialist. After half hours talk she suggested I start taking anti depression medication. I mentioned having similar feelings after taking cocaine and extacy in my earlier years. The same come down feeling. This is when she explained that this could be possible as morphine is an opiate. No one had given me this information. She still adviced me to take the pills.
I knew deep in me that Im not a depressed person and I had no will to start taking some pills that  would possibly change my moods and persona. When I knew it was an opiate I decided to try and ride out the comedown trip. It was the most horrid thing I have experienced. For 3 months I was cold, shaking, screaming, crying, not being able to sleep, not eating, sweating etc... The only relief I found was to lie in the bath. So I spent most days in the bath tub. When I finally got through this I was so grateful to have experienced this as I no longer had fear of dying cause nothing could be as bad as that experience was even dying had to be better.
As soon as I got better me and my partner, Richard, took the car and went on a road trip through europe.
It was april and as I had been so cold for so long I was desperate to see the sun. 
I was feeling much better and slowly I started to get my daily routines back such as eating, sleeping and toilet visits.
My next scan showed that the treatment had halved the size of tumor and that there was no activity.
This was brilliant news and shortly after I started to live "normally". 
In september 2010 I started a makeup artist course and by november I had work.
February I started my company and was doing makeup for advertisement, tv, fashion and theatre.
End of May 2011 I had the bad news that my cancer was back and had spread to 4 different areas. I had activity in both lungs, spine(skeleton) and in the ovarian. 
I was off course devastated and to be honest I don't remember much of what the doctor said as I was in such chock. First thing I did was go and get my daughter out of kindergarden and take her to the Pippi Longstocking house in stockholm. Its Pellas, my daughter, favorite place.
I watched her play and I decided Im not going anywhere. Im fighting this fucker and Ill do anything it takes!
Next day I told myself: no tears, no self pitty, no negative thoughts.
I had a surgery scheduled in for the following week. After my experience with conventional medicine I had no will to start that trip allover again. I truly believed that there must be another way. A more natural way. I started googling about all kinds of alternative treatments and first thing I found was a Raw food retreat in sweden starting the following week. I saw this as a sign and signed up for it at once. I rescheduled my surgery for after the retreat. As I continued googling I also found Chipsa medical institute in Tijuana Mexico. I called them and after having spoken to one of their doctors for over an hour I was convinced this was for me. They practice the Gerson therapy and use Coleys vaccine. I researched about it the following two days and found nothing but positive information and loads of testimonials where people had survived all kinds of cancers. So I scheduled to fly out after my raw food retreat and I cancelled all appointments with my doctors at home.
I immediately felt so happy and relived. I knew I was on the right track.
6th of June I arrived to Mundekulla in småland, sweden, to join the Joy for life retreat by Victoria Boutenko.
Here I was introduced to the green smoothies that have changed my life to the positive!
Victoria Boutenko Is an amazing woman who has dedicated her life to researching health. She has so much amazing information. I learnt so much about food in that week and for the first time I was taught it in a way that it made sense. After that week I finally understood why we humans get ill, deficiencies!
Lack of nutrition. It all makes perfect sense. Low nutrition- weakened immune system-illness.
To some degree a already knew this but I never knew what nutrition and where I could get this nutrition. Before I would read somewhere c vitamins are good and then Id go and buy c vitamin pills instead of finding this vitamin in my food.
I also never thought that diseases could so easily be healed only by changing your diet and detoxing.
We have created so many new diseases from our toxic "white mans" diet.
You can see a significant change in the classrooms. Alot more kids with adhd, autism, glasses, overweight problems, exsema, dental problems etc...
At the retreat I experienced from me and other people things that now prove to me that with the right diet and detox we can prevent and heal from pretty much any disease.
It's crazy how we've become so used to all the toxins that we feed our bodies,we have so hard to go back to natures natural diet.
So many people are hooked on the commercialised products that we get told are delicious and natural in their advertisement. Coca cola, snickers, hot dogs, alcohol, etc....
After all Ive learned I see no difference in giving a child a big candyfloss or giving her a puff on a cigarette. Sugar is a toxic and yet we feed our kids with it to make them happy.
We also give our kids vaccine without really researching. Once again we trust our doctors. Ive now research the topic and I will never give Pella a vaccine again. I would rather concentrate on keeping her immune system on top so she cant catch these diseases. 
I strongly recommend you to read Victorias book- Greens for life. Its a real eyeopener on nutrition. And its easy to read. And once you start reading you get information to so many other sources of great information.
We were a group of 20 that had joined the retreat.  
The menu for the week was raw food smoothies all day. Smoothies containing fruits and greens.
We also were introduced to coffee enemas. The coffee stimulates the liver and helps remove toxins in the body.  Already after 2 days of our detox many of us were having amazing results.  For me my vision had improved, rasp in my breathing had disappeared, I was sleeping less and feeling much more awake.
I decided to do a radical change as I was seeing such amazing progress. I stopped shampoo/conditioner, lotions, soaps, fluoride toothpaste etc... All I did was wash with water. Just after a few days my skin felt the best it has ever felt. I have always been a big consumer of expensive creams and I've always preached  to others how they need to use good quality lotions. I used to feel dry all the time before and was always putting lotions on. Now my skin is moist and fresh looking from only water and nutriton. The best its ever been. Another thing I discovered the other day is that after have changed my diet I no longer get hairs on my neck. I used to have at least 20 black hairs that would grow frequently on my neck. I kept plucking them for years. I plucked them just before the retreat, usually they grow out within a couple of days. I havnt seen them since, and its been a month.
Other people were having heavy detox symptoms the first few days. Vomiting, headaches, rashes, etc... After 4-5 days they were feeling as vibrant as I was. One woman that had very bad arthritis even said she could move her hand a bit more than usual.
After the week I felt amazing. I came home and I was ecstatic. During the course Victoria had also mentioned the Gerson therapy and had at one point said that its the best treatment. So now I felt even more sure of that I was on the right track.
At home I drove my boyfriend and my father crazy with all the info I was trying to pass on to them. Don't eat that! Don't do that! That will give you this or that disease etc etc.... 
I think they thought id been to a cult for a week. 
Richard has been amazing through all this and extremely patient.
Witnessing my positive changes in health he has become more interested and after research on his own he now shares my interest in nutrition.
Here at the institute he is on the same diet as me and he will even be doing enemas whilst here to detox.
Im looking forward to seeing how they will effect him.
Friday i had a Coleys shot which is a vaccine of killed bacteria that works to create inflammation in the body. Creating a fever to get your immune system to fight the tumors. You can find better explanations if you google it.
They start with a small doses. After a few hours I felt a bit cold and felt tired. I had a few shakes as I went to bed and felt pains on the side of my chests.
They explained that all pains are good as this means that the Coleys is doing its work.
Morning after I felt perfectly fine.
Today the sunshine is out and were gonna head off for a walk down to the beach soon.
I am so happy to be here and I am so proud of myself that I had the guts to go against doctors/societies advice and follow my common sense and intuition.
I truly believe once you seek you shall find!
I followed the signs that were handed to me and here I am ready to begin the most adventurous journey of my life!



  1. All kraft och styrka till dig. Jag är så glad för din skull och för din dotter att du följer väg och visar så mycket mod. Kram Mari (från retreaten)

  2. Finner knappt ord, tycker att det är så jävla orättvist, jag saknar och tänker på dig, har undrat vart du hållit hus på senaste och har varit lite orolig, känner ändå i hela kroppen att du är på rätt ställe just nu, jag har fallit för allt du skrivit och ska själv googla och köpa boken bums! Är du i Mexiko på obestämd tid? Får sån himla lust att bara åka till dig och hjälpa till med vad som helst. Kör hårt nu, du är en fighter det vet vi ju redan, älskar dig massa massa massa och tror helt på den här behandlingen. Puss Marléne